Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Robotic Edition)

I think I may have hit the awesome, nerd, Christmas present jackpot.  Well to be honest, I didn't hit it.  Gabe and Etta did.  They are a couple of funny people who cohabitate.  We know them.  They have a dog, an awesome logo and they just made a movie.  Yeah, you could say, we have a lot in common (except, for the logo part I should work on that one).  Gabe and Etta (Diani and Devine) pitched a little project on Kickstarter that went... how shall we say...fuckng crazy.  Here is thier original pitch...

It went so well that their project was funded many times over and now it's DONE.  As a matter of fact, the books are showing up tomorrow morning.  Hard copy, illustrated versions of Huckleberry Finn, except Jim... is a robot.  Here's a peek....


You can buy the robotic edition of Huckleberry Finn here. 

You're welcome.

Tom Kha Gai Martini

Yes, like the Thai soup, but only vaguely. Tom Kha Gai is such a yummy awesome savory soup whose prominent flavors are coconut milk, lemongrass and Kaffir lime leaves.  Sounds like a drink to me.
I came up with this martini last year as a way to deal with all the amazing citrus that I scored on the ranch. The Kaffir limes were especially intriguing to me with their wrinkly skin, all puckered and slick.  And they smell uh-mazing.
I have since seen them at Whole Foods for a few bucks a pop. I would say that the flavor of these Kaffir limes are so distinct and fresh that they are totally worth it in these martinis. The first thing I did was I infused a bottle of vodka with a stalk of lemon grass. Nothing fancy, I basically just put a bunch of beat up lemongrass (if you smash it, the oils come out) into a bottle and let it infuse on a shelf for about a month.
I had this in my freezer all ready to go when the Kaffir limes came my way, so everything was fresh.  Not sure if the Kaffir limes will be around in January still, so I'm sure you can infuse the vodka in a week if you want to try this asap just stick some more lemon grass in there.

Then I made an infused simple syrup.

Kaffir Lime Simple Syrup
The Rind of 2 Small Kaffir Limes
2 Cups of Sugar
1Cup of Water

I took the rind of two small Kaffir limes and placed them in a sauce pan with 2 cups of sugar and 1 cup of water. I brought it to a boil and let it cool and stew a little. Once the syrup cooled on the stove top, I strained out the rind pieces and transferred the liquid to a squeeze bottle.

Here's what you need...

Tom Kha Gai Martini
1/4 Cup Lemongrass Infused Vodka
1/4 Cup Coconut Water (optional dash of Coco Loco if you like creamy drinks)
1 Tablespoon Kaffir Lime Syrup
Juice of 1/2 a Key Lime (or regular limes)

In a shaker filled with ice, combine the ingredients and shake it up.  Put it into a sugar rimmed martini glass and party.  It's perfect for holiday cocktail time.  Beware though... they are strong and taste like wonderful.

Spiced Cranberry Poached Pears

These are my Holiday secret weapons. The ultimate in versatility. This recipe yields so many options and culinary variations that making them a few days before any holiday is just smart. It yields a cocktail mixer, garnish, a holiday salad component, dressing ingredient and a wonderful desert.

Spiced Cranberry Poached Pears & Syrup

1 gallon of sweetened cranberry juice
5 bosc pears
1 slice of lemon peel
1 cinnamon stick
1 teaspoon of mulling spices (juniper berries, star anise, cloves)

Peel pears with a fruit peeler.
Slice them in half, leaving the stem on if you like (I like).
Core with a melon-baller and a paring knife.
Find a nice cranberry juice or juice blend (one without high fructose corn syrup)
Put the cleaned pears in a large sauce pan and cover with the juice.
Add cinnamon stick, lemon peel, star anise, cloves and juniper berries.

Cook until the pears are tender. Remove the pears and spices and let the sauce reduce by over a half.

Once it is thick, sweet and syrupy (coating the back of the spoon) and your house smells like wonderful, consider the following options...

#1 Warm poached pears with vanilla ice cream and spiced cranberry syrup
(Or let the syrup and pears cool in the fridge for up to four days and make...)
#2 Salad w/baby greens, chilled poached pears, blue cheese & candied walnuts
#3 Cranberry salad dressing (olive oil, cranberry syrup, Dijon mustard, lemon, salt & pepper)
#4 Cranberry/Champagne cocktail (Champagne, cranberry syrup & a lemon peel)
#5 Chilled pears for breakfast. Perfect for a New Years hangover.

I hope you try them and I hope you love them. If you come up with any other awesome uses for these beauties, leave a comment below because I can't get enough of them.

Thoughts On A Christmas/Birthday

A Note To A Fetus
It's a bad choice to be born on Christmas.
First of all kid, it's pretty rude to interrupt your family's holiday. My mother went in to labor with me around noon on Christmas day. So the story goes, she was cutting the turkey for my father, brother and sister when her water broke. We went straight to the hospital and I was born five hours later. When my mother and I returned from the hospital on the 27th she asked my family for a little bit of left over Christmas dinner, but they had eaten it all. Poor Mom, I've been cooking for her ever since to try to make up for it. She did say however, that I was the best Christmas gift she'd ever gotten.

#2 Being born on Christmas means that very few people come to your birthday party that aren't related to you. My family is pretty cool, but every once and a while you'll get the drunk 3rd cousin who forgets you're related and tries to hit on you. Side note: Your Jewish friends are awesome for whisking you away from said insanity and taking you to a bar.
#3 Being born on Christmas means that you have to celebrate half birthdays or 'one month later' birthdays, which is forced and weird the older we get. Unless people throw them for you which is always nice.

#4 Being born on Christmas means that your birthday presents are under the tree too, and indistinguishable because they are wrapped in Christmas paper and at the end of the day, you really don't know the difference.

#5 Being Born on Christmas means that you always have to celebrate your birthday with Jesus. Which is like having a much more popular, higher achieving brother who gets all the attention. It's especially hard when you know that historians have speculated that his actual date of birth was April 17th, but nobody believes you.
#6 Being born on Christmas means that you will very often get a candle in a pie and birthday/Christmas presents. You don't get double unless you're four.

#7 Being born on Christmas means that you rarely get birthday cards for some reason, although one year I mailed out birthday cards instead of Holiday cards to everyone on my list. That was fun. There are a few exceptions to this however. My Godmothers always come through with these Hallmark Birthday-Christmas cards. Yes they make them specifically for us freaks. My favorite one reads "So, you were born on Christmas, and you know what that means... your parents sure knew how to celebrate St. Patrick's day!"#8 Being born on Christmas also means that everyone has your birthday off of work (unless they are strippers, cocktail waitresses or fire fighters). So you get a lot of phone calls... probably more than other people. They are long phone calls too because nobody has to get going to make it to a meeting.

Okay fetus, lets review, being born on Christmas means that you get to spend time with your family, that almost everyone has the day off, that your Mom says you were the best Christmas present she ever had, that you learn to share, that people throw you extra parties on days that aren't your birthday, that you get a lot of phone calls, that you'll eat a great meal, that pie is actually fine for candles, that you learn how to be less materialistic (because nobody needs all that stuff anyway), that people who love you and who can show up, do, that your Jewish friends save you from incestuous 3rd cousins and that a little creativity and a little less self pity goes a long way...

...So fetus, I actually may be wrong here. Maybe being born on Christmas is just complicated. Maybe it's about perspective. Maybe it's a lesson of gratitude for what you have. I can remember when I was really little, I genuinely thought that the day after Thanksgiving, everyone was putting up lights and decorations for me. It was very exciting (and understandable when you know that I was first handed to my mother in a red stocking with a baby sized Santa hat). Even after I learned that Christmas was a separate holiday and now as an adult, I still get excited when I see my first blinking light. My birthday has a little magic in it, even if it's not for me. So go ahead I guess, be born on Christmas. And when your aunt gives you an ornament for your birthday, call me. I'll be there for you with a pie and a candle and a lot of Jewish friends.

Coq Au Vin - The Best Thing I Make

Look people, I'm not a trained chef. I don't make French food very often. I don't even claim to say that this is actually an authentic version of the dish because it's not, I don't use bacon and I slice my veggies entirely too big, plus this last time, I used bagged baby carrots. Regardles, this is by far, the best thing I make. This is part of my perfect Christmas meal. Well, this and a poached pear salad with blue cheese, some leafed brussel sprouts with pancetta, roasted new potatoes, a pot of lavender creme brule and a bottle of champagne (but those are other blog posts). This however is the king of my Christmas dinner.

Coq Au Vin
(boy chicken with wine)

1/4 cup olive oil
1 large yellow onion, sliced
3 cups of carrots
4 stalks of celery sliced thickly
1 whole chicken cut up (yes a girl chicken is fine)
6 garlic cloves, peeled and diced
2 cups chicken stock
2 cups Bordeaux wine
3 fresh bay leaves
Lots of fresh thyme sprigs
1/2 lb button mushrooms whole
Salt and pepper to taste

In an enameled cast iron skillet on medium heat, sweat carrots, celery onions and garlic in olive oil with salt and pepper. Remove and set aside.

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Working in batches add chicken to hot pan skin side down. Brown the chicken well, on all sides, about 10 minutes. It will not be cooked all the way through.

Don't be afraid of the color at the bottom of the pan (within reason) as that is where the flavor of the dish comes from.

Spoon off any excess fat or not. I don't. Add wine and de-glaze the pan by getting that spoon down in there scrapping the brown bits off the bottom. Add the chicken stock and herbs.

Let it come to a strong boil.

Then add back the veggies and chicken. Lower heat to a simmer.

Cover and cook for 20 minutes, or until chicken is tender and cooked through.

Remove chicken and onions to a separate platter. Remove the bay leaves, herb sprigs, garlic, and discard.

Add mushrooms to the remaining liquid and turn the heat to high.

Boil quickly and reduce the liquid by three fourths until it becomes thick and saucy. Mushrooms should be dark by the time it's done. Taste and season with salt and pepper if you still need a little bit.

Lower the heat. Return the chicken and onions to the pan to reheat and coat with the new thickened sauce.

Serve with roasted or gratin potatoes or even egg noodles, the sauce is king in this dish, so any starch that soaks it up ends up tasting like heaven.

Drink the rest of the wine with this dinner. Bacchus with be dining with you since it's his favorite meal too and it's only polite.

Greek Turkey Meatballs

Oh the sweet goodness of mint and meat. Is there nothing more Greek? Since, I have just started eating red meat again for the first time in 21 years, I make my meatballs with turkey meat. I know, not lamb, not very Greek of me. But they are still moist and heavily seasoned and if you dip them in garlic-y tzadsiki... Super Greek. These are perfect for Christmas even if you are not Greek at all.

Greek Turkey Meatballs (Keftedes)
1 C diced yellow onion
2 cloves of garlic
1/4 C chopped fresh mint
1/4 C chopped flat leaf parsley
1/2 t dried oregano
1 egg
1/2 C bread crumbs
1/2 t salt
1/4 t pepper
1 1/4 lbs. ground turkey (get the kind with some fat in it)
Olive oil (lots)

Dice onions

Chop garlic

Chop mint and parsley

Fresh bread crumbs are easy. I just took a stale baguette and put it in my Cuisinart.

One egg for binding.

Combine everything...

...with the turkey.

I know it looks like a lot of onions but the moisture is important when you are using turkey meat.

Roll them with the palms of your hands into golf ball sized bits of wonder.

Heat up a light olive oil (not extra virgin) in a large skillet. You may need to switch out the oil if the pan gets too mucked up. If you mind this, feel free to use vegetable oil as it has a higher burning temp. Turn the meatballs so they cook evenly. Cook them in small batches. Be careful not to over cook these babies.

When the balls are fully cooked though, place them on a paper towel, for a quick second.

They are great as appetizers or entrees.

Kala Kristouyena
(Merry Christmas)

Butternut Squash Soup

Looking for an awesome soup to start off your Thanksgiving? Oh look, I've got it.

It takes a few ingredients, a little elbow grease, some love and BOOM you've got a big pot of awesome. I made this for our Halloween party, where I called it "Mr. Butter's Nuts Got Squashed Soup." Despite the name, it was gobbled up. The spices were just perfect for my batch, but you never know with starchy root veggies and gourds. You may need to add a little more of the spices (but don't go crazy, jeeze).

Mr. Butternut's Soup

1 1/2 Large Butter Nut Squashes
1 Large Onion
3 Stalks of Celery
3 Large Carrots
3 Large Potatoes
1/2 Stick of Salted Butter
8 Cups of Chicken Broth
1 T Sea Salt
1/2 t Ground Ginger
1 1/2 t Curry Powder
1 1/2 t Cinnamon
1 1/2 T Brown Sugar

You'll need a large pot, an immersion blender and a veggie peeler.

Cut butternut squash in half, clean out seeds and peel with veggie peeler.

With a large sharp knife, cut squash into thumb sized pieces. Your palm will get sore from cutting, use a towel on top of the knife if you need it.

Clean and chop your mirepoix (Onion, celery & carrot).

Peel and dice potatoes. Once all veggies are prepped, melt butter in a tall heavy soup pot. When butter is melted, add veggies and cook for 6 or 7 minutes then cover with broth.

Once the soup begins to boil, add 1 T of salt and pepper to taste. When all the veggies are soft use immersion blender to make the soup smooth and creamy.

Once soup is pureed, add ginger, cinnamon, curry and brown sugar. Add more spices if you think they are needed. Serve with hot fresh buttered bread and thin slices of green apples. Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving... eat too much for me!